"Mom, move onto the next question!"

I was pissed off that a homoanxiety breakdown phone call is what woke me up and kept me up this morning, but I'll live--I may have to kill Jeff or his mom though. *smile*

This morning around 8:30am, the phone rang.  Matt was up wandering around, so he picked it up.  It was Jeff's mom and she wanted Matt to go wake him up so she could talk to him.

Jeff and I are in a Philosophy class, which means we don't ever have class until 1pm, so he was pretty well livid.  His mother started beating around the bush, which was pissing him off because he just wanted to go back to sleep and then she popped the question:

"Are you gay?"  I don't recall his response exactly, but the question itself arose because last night Jeff had sent his dad an e-mail saying that he and I were planning on living together after college and I assume they just recalled that I'm gay and made that cavernous leap from my being gay to Jeff being gay from that piece of news.

At one point Jeff said "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."  At the time I didn't know what he was responding to, but now that I do, I appreciate it.  After he got off the phone (which is located in the room I share with Matt and Bob), I laughed so hard that THAT was why his mother had wanted to talk about with him so badly.

I explained that I thought perhaps they had missed that living with a homosexual has a spurious relationship to oneself's being homosexual and that ... I dunno ... having sex with people of the opposite sex has at least a relatively reliable negative statistical relationship with being gay.

At any rate, we laughed a lot and while Jeff, the punk, got to go back to sleep because he can sleep anytime he wants, I was up for the long-haul after that.

Just remember kids: unless you want to be gay, don't live with a homosexual after college!

Comments

[Derek]

Hah.

Tragically, my mother never questioned my sexual orientation after I hired a token gay boy as an editor.

[Johnny]

My Mom pegged my identical twin brother as the gay one. HA!

[Jay]

After months of listening to (okay, and looking at) you folks, I finally feel the need to say something. I know it's bothersome to be badgered with those questions - whether "you are or not". But be glad that you live in a day-and-age when your parents know enough to ask the question. Be glad that it's a part of their vocabulary, that it's whithin their realm of, what?, possibility. They're asking - okay maybe accusing - but they're concerned (re scared), but at least they care and ask. Those are good things, right, Addy? Go back to sleep. Be glad you have good roomies - roomies with parents who care about their kids - parents who want to know about their kids (even if it's an accusatory situation). Go back to sleep, it's a good thing. Luv ya, your uncle/cousin/secondcousin, Jay

[Addy]

Hey Jay!

As I've said before, I'm definitely glad that I've grown in a time and into a generation for which there's a vocabulary and a cultural consciousness about queer issues.

Now, that being said though, there's always room to improve and I know your comment wasn't meant to imply that there wasn't, but often times folks are encouraged to enjoy the status quo. I do, but I also know that there's so much more to have in terms of easy of social engagement for queer people and for queer issues in general.

For instance, whether or not Jeff's family is liberal and is okay with his having gay friends, etc., it is unacceptable for parents to treat their child's sexual orientation and identity like they might treat a unicorn. Queers aren't unicorns and Jeff isn't even gay.

It's good that they care about his circumstances and identity, but if parents and others aren't pushed towards an even great cultural consciousness of queer issues, by being asked to behave in particularly respectful ways, these forms of progress, such as the vocabulary, stand to become the end goal and I'm not through there--not that you were suggesting that I stop.

At any rate, the reason I couldn't sleep is because I have a really hard time going back to sleep after I've been woken up once--it really didn't have anything to do with why I got woken up. =)

[Addymal]

Also, his parents weren't even able to ask if he was gay. They apparently just beat around the bush. bad mommy.

[Alice]

Ha ha, great story. My parents beat around that bush all the time... but I always tell them I'm a raging queer... and they laugh... and then I laugh... and we all think it was a great joke.

:)

[Brandon]

Unicorns have horns. Heh. Horns.